That special person, the one who not only always has your back, but also walks alongside you, laughs with you, encourages you, holds your heart as a great and wonder-full treasure; has taken vows to continue to honor you and respect you for life.
Yes, that one, close your eyes and picture him or her. Let your mind flutter through the many superb memories, one to the next and next. Listen to your heart. What is it saying? What feelings fill you up? At some point, during this exercise you’ll come to a screeching halt. There are also times you and your spouse have said terrible things to one another.
All married couples disagree from time to time, this is normal and healthy. However, some couples are cruel to one another regularly. Some couples turn disagreements into personal attacks. This is not normal and it is not healthy. Sometimes couples are more like roommates, this is not normal and it is not healthy. Sometimes one spouse makes all the decisions, sets the rules, controls the money and assumes the responsibility to punish any perceived transgressions. This is not normal and it is not healthy.
If you want to get the most our of your relationship, if you want a healthier relationship that you can count on, if you want to feel loved and make your spouse feel loved … a good way to start is by rebuilding your love maps. John Gottman, PhD and his wife have carefully studied relationships and how to heal relationships for over 40 years. The Gottman Relationship Counseling process is proven both scientifically and with many couples. Gottman trained therapists are in demand and people will pay hundreds per session.
Our Pastoral Counselor is a Gottman trained therapist. Dr. Feeser has completed her Gottman Couples Therapy training and utilizes this process with our couples. However, because of the economic strains on our community, Living Springs Counseling charges between $30 and $70 per session on a sliding scale. Call us 305.451.9554 to discuss possibilities and make appointments.
Here are some typical Love Map questions:
Who are your partner’s best friends? What things is your partner most worried about right now? What does your partner dream about accomplishing? Describe your partner’s worldview.
There are many fun ways to build your love maps. Contact us to find out more. You and your spouse deserve to love and be loved in healthy ways. We look forward to hearing from you.